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July 23, 2009

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. -: Woody Allen

Mother-in-Law

Presently viewing: Mother-in-Law Dies

Audience: General Humor Rating: 4 / 5 Category: Relationships Type: Stories

A man and his mother-in-law went to Jerusalem and while they were there the mother-in-law passes away. The priest says to the man, "for $150 we can bury your mother-in-law here or for $5000 we can ship her back home to be buried. The man replies, "oh I will definitely have her shipped back home because if I remember correctly awhile back a man was buried here and after 3 days he came back to life".

Relations Minded

Presently viewing: Relations Minded

Audience: General Humor Rating: 3 / 5 Category: Sex Type: Stories

A man goes to a psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about relations."

The psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.

The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman having relations."

The psychologist says, "Very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"

The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman having relations."

The psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"

The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman having relations."

The psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with relations."

"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"